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thread writing four. [15 Dec 2010|01:34am]

If there was one thing Quinn didn't like in her life it was negative energy. To top that off, Quinn didn't really like liars either. While Rafe didn't flat out lie to her, he indeed did deceive her to a certain degree. In a world filled with people who had taken advantage of her, deceived her and made her life a living hell, you could understand why Quinn had been seething with anger last night. She had an absolute and uncanny devotion towards Rafe, and it had remained unwavering up until this point. Their relationship had always been complicated and for her, she was quite content with leaving it a mystery to the public. With her growing popularity as an actress, the media had taken a liking to her in wanting to pair her off with plenty of suitors. However, truth be told was that Quinn had very few lovers due to her past phobias and biased favoritism for her bandmate. For anyone to understand her and learn her was a big feat in itself, Quinn always was a hard person to decipher. She never wore her heart on her sleeve for anyone, and if she did, that was rare in itself. While she had forgiven Rafe, she hadn't forgotten what had happened and was passionately discontent and angry. A wrathful Quinn was something you couldn't provoke or scare, just like a wild animal. It was hard for her to find a peaceful balance within herself and only big things like this could make her crack, but it was good enough. If Rafe did say something wrong, she probably would disappear for a good time.

She had been buried in her music room of her London flat all day and had refused plenty of offers to go out to eat and socialize. Quinn realized she would indeed have to pull herself together to engage in an outing with Lucas, but that was still some good hours away. Her short black hair was a bit of a mess, her eyeliner and mascara smudged from on and off crying and her lips were a bit red from her constant biting and pursing. She had been wearing a comfortable short off-shoulder cotton dress that stopped at her mid-thighs and while looking quite dishoveled, her tragic and striking beauty flattered the look quite well. Quinn had been playing on her gorgeous black baby grand piano for a good 7 hours straight. Her cigarette had died out on the ashtray and her coffee had become cold over the fleeting minutes that passed her. Currently, her fingers were eliciting the song of Pan's Labyrinth's Lullaby, a score from one of her most favourite foreign films. The calming yet haunting song was exactly what she needed to calm the fuck down after hearing her door open. It could only by Rafe and for the first time ever, she wasn't too thrilled to see him. Her fingers had stopped playing for a minute and after not hearing a voice, Quinn got up from her piano stool and walked over to her door. Her fingers had become numb from the constant playing but she didn't care. She opened the door wide enough so he could step inside and once he did, Quinn closed the door behind him and raised an eyebrow at him. Her back pressed against the white door as her fingers drummed against the cool surface. "Are you happy now?" She asked in a low, cool voice.

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Quinn's eyes shut almost immediately when Rafe touched her warm skin. She hadn't flinched that much, but it was noticeable enough. A painful exhale of air escaped her red and worn lips. Part of her was reluctant to even look in Rafe's eyes, but eventually her eyelids fluttered back open. Her forest colored hues were hazy with a hint of apprehension and rage. It was very exhausting to be angry with him, and it truly was a rare occasion. Quinn had so devotedly trusted him with all of her wretched fears and feelings, and he had done quite well handling them all until now. "Bullshit," Quinn shrugged off the touch of his warm hand and moved away from the door. "I don't want you to. I'm fine." Her statement was so quiet and icy and apathetic. Quinn really didn't desire his attention or showering of gifts to help alleviate how she felt. Her fingers ran through her jet black hair as she passed Rafe and eyed him before heading back to her sane asylum.

There had been a lot of things Quinn would have done in a situation like this. She could have ransacked her home like a fucking professional. Glass broken everywhere, furniture unturned and dishes all shattered. Perhaps in her darker days, Quinn would have got cozy with two bottles of wine and probably would have slept through Rafe's loud knocks at her door until he called for help. Ignoring Rafe, while she wish she could in times like these, always seemed futile. Their connection was too strong for them not to find a way to one another. It was something that frustrated her at times. Her brooding for seven hours straight was a result from her anxiety at knowing she would have to deal with her brother's appearance whether she liked it or not. Perhaps if they weren't so tightly bonded in love and admiration and fascination over one another, Quinn wouldn't be so emotionally fanatic and distraught.

Sitting back down on the stool of her piano, Quinn lit herself a new cigarette and took a long drag. Her head tilted back ever so slightly as she exhaled the smoke from her pouty lips. She had to finish her song and do Javier some justice. You could hear the sloppiness and passion and gut wrenching feeling behind the pounding of keys that drew a new life to the lullaby. While it was cliche, she kept her sanity in check with music. If there was one way she could talk and talk clearly, it was by connecting notes and sounds that created the perfect message. Even though minutes fled after finishing, Quinn continued to repeatedly hit a certain key until she was able to remember Fur Elise. But even still, finishing that with a distracted mind was a feat in itself. Quinn stopped half way and picked up her cigarette again and took another nice drag.

She was pretty sure nothing he could say to her would patch up her flawed heart. Though, he was a master at surprising her. Quinn was so disgusted at herself for being so pathetic and allowing him to upset her as much as he did. It only showed how much power he had over her.

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thread writing three. [15 Dec 2010|01:31am]

Being anxious was becoming a common occurrence for Katarine as of late. It was a rare change of pace considering that not much fazed the cold blonde nowadays. She had a good 5 centuries of existence under her belt, and now out of all the times, Katarine was beginning to feel. She could not sleep much, though it was necessary to maintain strength and health. Feeding also became a less desired priority only because she was always too tired to even attempt to hunt during the night. Coming to New Orleans, a strange new world with plenty of opportunities, should have been an utter delight to Katerine. However, past actions prohibited her from reveling in her new change of setting. Before coming to the new colony, Katarine was a feared and respected member on Court in Spain. She had thrown away all she had worked so hard in obtaining for one single man named Casillas. It wasn't like Katarine to "help" anyone save herself. When her maker Salim had left her to figure out how to survive as a vampire alone without any guidance, Katarine had resolved that it was useless to waste time on caring about others. If your very own maker was careless about your survival, why would she care about anyone else's? Nevertheless, she had found herself caring enough to go rogue, to leave luxury behind her and avenge Casillas' maker's death. Maybe it was because she was in awe of the relationship lost, the one she was meant to have with Salim but was robbed of. His determination, devotion and blood-lust was alluring, and Katarine would be lying if she said she had come to New Orleans not because of Casillas, but because of her own desire to travel and evade those she had wronged. Yes, leaving Spain was necessary for her own safety, but she could have clearly gone somewhere else. Alas, that was not the case. Katarine had taken lodging in one of the better-looking shelters built within the heart of New Orleans. No one bothered her despite its desirable location. Sometimes, Casillas would visit her, even stay with her. Maybe if she slept more, fed more, she'd be more insistent on asking what his intentions were. It had been months now that she was settled in, and still she had no desire to ask. It'd be dumb to dismiss her connection with him, but then again Katarine had never allowed herself to be connected to anyone up until this point. For someone as entertaining and lively as Katarine, this night was spectacularly dull. Even still, she was enjoying her own company. She looked disheveled in attire, sporting only a white chemise that was cinched under a tight corset. Her blonde curly locks from yesterday night were losing its hold and taking a more messy, wavy shape. The one thing that remained consistent was the color of her bright red lips. Katarine was perched on a chaise, reading old classical texts that kept her awake for hours on end. If there was one thing that could make time go by quickly for the blonde, it was reading. She had all the time in the world, and spending it could mean a shortcut to something interesting.

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Katarine raised an eyebrow at Casillas as he made his presence known to her. She could not help but grin as his language slipped into Spanish, condemning the her own countrymen, people who had come from where she found her origin as well. It had been centuries since she even cared for, let alone felt any allegiance or connection to any country so his words barely riled any feelings of contempt. She was amused, trying not to smile as she continued to read, but digesting everything he was saying anyway. Katarine was in every way an equal to Casillas, but her preference for beautiful things is what set them apart. It was something that stayed with Kat even after she was turned. Her human life centered around her beauty, and while it was no longer what defined her, it still was a part of her. "Calme abajo, my dear." Katarine hushed him as she finally decided to shut her book. "We need not concern ourselves with their silly politics, it's a waste of time." It was true. Perhaps it would be different if they were among the living, suffering more so from the pinch of taxes. It was the only way the humans knew how to keep their kingdom afloat, now it was extending to their own kind. What they really needed to worry about was staying alive, but still out of sight and out of mind from those they had crossed. It was hard for her, someone who had been adored on court, to now being the center of condemnation and spite. Not having the company of other like-minded vampires was a sobering experience, but she knew having a strong ally like Casillas was better than having a bunch of self-interested acquaintances who would turn on her at first slip up.

And that was what seemed to have occurred. The politics of vampires were a lot more serious and threatening. Taxes were just a silly nuisance. When you had all of eternity, it was easy to seek out those who had done you wrong. The inner-circle she had been involved in had plenty of connections and birds keeping their eyes open for her. Katarine really couldn't blame anyone but herself for the position she had gotten into, but when she really pondered about it, she liked the change of pace. It would be a lie to say that Katarine was not a ladder-climber, politically-speaking. Maybe it was ambition suicide to go against her court members, but courts were meant to be overthrown. There were always new vampire monarchs ascending and being killed off, and the vicious cycle was quite entertaining to Katarine. "If you are dissatisfied with the way things are, you should change it and not complain about it. Complaining and lamenting will do nothing. Then again, we are in an interesting position right now." She was referring to Casillas' suggestion that they "lay low" for the sake of their own survival. While Katarine knew it was logical, she wasn't much for keeping in the shadows like some scared traitor. "We could do so much more together, you and I." She had gotten up from her chaise and evaluated the Viking slowly. Katarine had carefully walked up to Casillas and brushed the side of his face with her cold, soft hand.

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aim writing one. [11 Dec 2010|10:17pm]

She hated doing this. Sitting behind a desk was something that Louella Sharley was not made to do. Taking calls, writing down reports, researching godknowsfuckingwhat, it all iritated her. Everyone was starting to annoy her, every little thing drove her nutso, and she was starting to bitch out at people for the smallest slip-ups. Only a day ago someone asked if Louella was alright. They politely offered their services so they could ease her stress, and Louella took it as a personal insult and poured her cold coffee on top of their head. She never apologized for that one. Louella's mood swings had just started to make their presence known. She had been surprisingly pleasant until the fourth month had come around the corner. It wasn't that Louella liked being a blatant bitch, she just couldn't help it. In fact, Louella was very frustrated at herself today. She had "tried" to accomplish researching a case that was of interest in Dunedin, but too many bathroom breaks and chatting in the break room made that absolutely impossible.

So to say the very least, if Louella did not have the luxury of being married to her boss, she would have been fired weeks ago. Nevertheless, she showed some sparks of hope, mainly helping out the trainees whenever she got bored doing secretarial work. It was past six in the evening, and it was getting pretty dark when Lou was gathering her things together. She wasn't exactly sure if Kemp had left for home or not, but she was going to make it her personal mission to cook him a kick ass dinner as a thank you for putting up with all of her crazy shit. Louella was slightly showing, an impressive little baby bump that was pretty pointless to hide nowadays. She had gotten past the shock from her coworkers about the pregnancy. It seemed more like people were interested to see if the two Sharleys could even "parent" an actual child. As the janitor started to make his way over to the elevator, Louella finally buttoned up her coat and walked out through the revolving door.

Call it intuition, but Louella instantly started to dig for her keys in her pockets. For some reason, she had a need to hightail it back home as quickly as possible. Louella had become more noticeably paranoid as she got further along in her pregnancy. When she finally got to her car, which was right next to Kemp's, Lou started to dig in her purse to find the keys that did not want to be found. It would be just her luck that she left them on her desk.

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Louella was startled by Amadis' voice and as a result her keys fell to the cold ground. She bent down slowly to pick up her keys but as she listened to him talk about the future of her child she found it hard to stand back up. When he was done talking she managed to gather her strength and wobbly came to a stand. For some reason she was gripping her keys tightly and she couldn't really look Amadis in the eyes, something she had never been afraid to do. Ever. "Scare tactics don't work on me, Chandler." Louella brushed her wavy brown hair out of her face as she walked closer to her car, never turning her back on Amadis. What was he going to do, rape her? She highly doubt it. Louella really couldn't see Amadis doing anything more except smack talk her pregnancy and marriage with Kemp until he was blue in the face. "All my life I've been protecticing myself from people who want to hurt me, and I've been successful. You think I would fail when it came to my own child?" Louella's fingers brushed against the trunk of her Lexus as she looked around to see if anyone was coming, "But I will let you in on a little secret. I do get so afraid at times that I can't even sleep. Do you think I should disappear? Sometimes I just want to be...gone." There were times when Louella really questioned her purpose with the White Knights. At times she felt she was fighting on a side no better than the supernatural. Perhaps she was fighting a battle that was not hers to fight. She was getting bored of New Zealand and there was no competition for her at work. Louella was the best female White Knights field agent on the roster, but sometimes she felt like it was by a landslide.

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journal entry two. [11 Dec 2010|10:16pm]

I have been avoiding a real update for weeks now. But it seems like my time is up, and I can't keep running from it forever. Truth is, who reads half of this shit anyway? I'm typing this up whilst running on about three and a half hours of sleep and lots of energy drinks. It sucks because I feel like I have been living like a cavewoman for the past week now at this hospital, and we all know how sexy cavewomen are, right? The past two weeks my grandmother's health has been going downhill. Besides my mother, I haven't really loved anyone as much as I love her. After my mom died, she was the one who took me in and raised me. So, it fucking sucks to see her suffering like this. What really takes the cake is that my family from Spain (who hasn't given a two shits about us here in New Jersey), all of the sudden want to come over and act concerned so they can pull the plug right under my nose. Yeah, my grandma has a whopping stack of wealth just waiting to all be sucked up by my evil relatives, but I am fucking so relieved to know she wrote a will this past month.

So there is a couple of interesting things that have happened to me these past four days at the hospital. The first one being when I first slept over in the ICU waiting room. I had pulled these three chairs together for me to lay on, and that was already a recipe for disaster. I am the worst person you could possibly sleep with. And holy shit, I do not mean that in a "suggestive" way. I roll around and pull on sheets and it's God awful. So sleeping on those chairs was like mission impossible for me. I swear I landed on that floor below me about five times throughout the night.

Second interesting thing that happened to me was more like an epiphany. As a closet Grey's Anatomy fan, I naively reliied on being surrounded by semi-attractive doctors with ridiculous love triangles and thus automatic bitchiness to help entertain me as I got by through the day. Unfortunately, all doctors were hopelessly unattractive and there was no action going on in the janitor's closet.

Third interesting thing that happened to me waaaas: I have been at that hospital for about a good 7 straight days. So naturally the nurses and cleaning staff know me pretty well now. There was a funny guy that goes by Valencio that works as a janitor. I don't know what he was, but I am guessing Italian. Anyway, I guess he got so fond of me that he started referring to me as his "sweet cheeks". I really think this is because the first day we crossed paths, I dropped my cell and I was wearing a short skirt (regretably so) that day. So I bent over and picked it up and forgot he was right behind me. He's gross, he's nasty. He has awful B.O. But no matter what, he always made me laugh when I needed it.

Fourth interesting that that happened to me at the hospital was meeting my boyfriend's parentals. I've never had to deal with that before so most of the time, I kept my mouth shut and just smiled a whole lot. Manny's dad was staring me down the whole time, and I even swore the first time I spotted him, he was looking me up and down as if he was figuring out if he liked me or not. It was also a very non-cute day for me so I felt 100% embarrassed through the whole thing.

I could write so much more, but honestly I am tired. Also, I've been typing this over a span of three days because I have been too busy. Honestly, I should have been smart and updated before, so this is what I get. Anyway, this is the shitious entry you will probably ever read, but I have got my reasons for it. So just take it and have a nice night!

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journal entry one. [11 Dec 2010|10:15pm]

Harvey Charlise Emmanuelle Dadigan is the name I got when I was born into the rotten place we call Earth. I was the last 1/2 of the Dadigan twins. My brother (and this gets even worse) is named Harley Charles Edward Dadigan. I personally believe my mother was too numb to give out names to either of us, I mean I have personal scars because of what she named me! My family were and probably always will be, filthy rich and rotten. My grandfather had prospered as a politician in Britain and even became a Knight when he was 50 years old. So you see, the Dadigans basically live off of old money. I grew up in lovely London with my huge family. I, being the youngest out of all the Dadigan children learned immediately that having no attention was bearable. My older siblings (all boys mind you)had tend to be the stars of the family, especially Harley. He was a natural when it came to sports, and seemed to be a Beckham prodige. Most of the time I would be at his football games cheering him on because mum and dad were too busy with their social lives to come to his games. When it comes to myself, well I kept up with my studies. If my twin brother had to be the athletic one, then I had to be the intelligent one, right? I had decided that when I was only ten years old. If I had my eyes set on Oxford University, I had better shape up as soon as possible. Harley and I were always inseprable. Despite out difference, we could easily talk to each other about everything. I would tell him about my secrets of hoping to be as attractive as Jerry Hall when I was old. He would tell me of how he felt so pressured to be so perfect at football. We talked, it was nice, and all was well. At least it was for a little while. Crazy as it may seem, my father and mother had had an arranged marraige. My mum had come from families full of Counts and Countesses, and it seemed like a match for such rich families to join together. The thing though, was that they were not in love whatsoever. My father became notorious for is romps in the night life, and my mother had all the rights to be upset and to divorce him. Like most dysfunctional families, the Dadigans went under a nasty divorce. My mother took Harley and I to America for a new start, and I love her for that.

One thing Harley and I found out when we were in America was that what we call 'football', they call 'soccer'. 'Football' in American terms was a sport full of big bulky men tackling each other for a TD or a touchdown. Kind of like rugby, but only with the ugly fat men as the players. Also, to them we had an accent. But to me, all of the Americans have such a HUGE accent it is hard to hide. Whatever. As Harley and I got older we had to teach the soccer fans in America Beckham is the best soccer player ever, not up and coming Landon Donovan. Despite all the changes I had to make here in America, I fancied it here a lot. Mum moved our new small family to a gorgeous penthouse in New York City. Did I say that it was gorgeous? So while Harley was wondering where the hell is the grass so he can practice his sport, I was studying my brains off. I had managed to get into Manhattan Academy, a pristigous private school in NYC. I loved it there, not only did it have so many courses to choose from, but it make you feel like you were already in college. I had studied my ass off while I was there. I became so obsessed with time, that I hardly had anytime to relax. At one point, my mother threatened to take me out of the school because I hardly got any sleep. Even with the threats I managed to graduate as Validictorian when I was only 17. I had made my speech that spring day with a lot of glee. All of my family was there, even my dad. I think he was even a tad bit proud of me. Even though Harley did not graduate with me, a year later he got his wish. Harley had been scouted by so many Soccer coaches it was ridiculous. His skills were so promising that talks of him being drafted into the pro leagues were made. He made the decision to go back to England to talk to scouts or possibly go to college.

I had already gotten an early admission to Yale, Harvard, Oxford, Brown, Hamilton, and University of PA. It was very flattering to say the least, all the hard work I had done when I was younger was paying off now. I had decided to go to Yale, even though I got admitted into Oxford. Crazy? Maybe, but I had liked the campus and wanted to stay in America away from my family in England. Because of my interance in the bussiness world, I declared my major Bussiness Administration. It was a pretty lame life. My roommates were hussies that made marks by feeling up the professors and then black mailing them. Lovely, huh? Anyways after getting my degree in B.A., I got acceptance at Yale & Oxford to get my masters. Pfft. I went for one semester then fled. I officially became a Yale Dropout much to my father's dismay. That fall I kissed my mum good bye and headed west to California. I had no clue what I would do when I got there, but it felt like the perfect place to go at the time. When I arrived at Los Angeles I had a feeling I would probably not fit in. For one, I did not like prancing around with upper-thigh length skirts and showing off my bodice. Secondly, I always seemed to scare people when I said I just graduated from Yale. Then again, some nice people have to be around in LA. Right? Well one night I had decided to go to the Zinc Club because...for the hell of it. Little did I know right at the bar I was talking to my future boss. He and I were the only ones sober there at the time. I told him of my life story and he surprisingly did not look one ounce bored. In fact before I even got to finish on how I got here he had said,"Yale, huh? Got some proof to back it up." I nodded and he gave me his card, telling me to call him the next afternoon. I remember looking at it dumbly. On the top it had 930 Production and his name and number was typed clearly on the small bussiness card. Emile Berkenstein, CEO. The first thing to cross my mind was that "I am not a singer, at all."

I called him the very next day and off the bat told him I did not sing nor wanted to embarrass myself by lipsyncing too. He laughed for a brief moment and told me he needed a new secretary. As he got into the details, my eyes lit up. Good pay, good job, I was in. Even though my job does not all the way pay for me living in a stylish condo in Bel Air, need I remind you I am well off anyways? I just decided to go off and work a little, but help doesn't bother me at all. Not one bit. Mostly my job consists of being professional at all times. To me, that is absolutely easy. I don't mind at all working my butt off trying to get Mr. Berkenstein's schedules ready at the last minute. Actually, I kind of thrive on the pressure. Despite my scary absolute focus I have when I go to work, I am a friendly person. Do not forget that I have to deal with producers, PA's, rockstars-in-the-makings, every day of my life. It does get stressful sometimes, but stress is what I have gotten through all of my days. Besides, I'd rather be busy than looking out my window wondering what can I do with all the money that I have. Do you know how cliche that is?

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